Gay Couples Can Teach Straight People a Thing or Two About Arguing


Likewise, it’s unfair to lump all straight collectively, and disingenuous to recommend that they don’t seem to be able to arguing in a wholesome manner.

But as a result of female and male same-sex every have completely different strengths that assist them endure, we are able to all study from them, Miller stated.

Here are some constructive strategies to deal with disagreements, as noticed by researchers of homosexual :

Cracking a joke within the midst of a heated second can backfire, however when completed correctly, “it almost immediately releases the tension,” stated Robert Rave, 45, who lives along with his husband, David Forrest, in Los Angeles.

Rave cited a latest automobile journey the place Forrest, 35, used humor to assist finish an escalating argument over whether or not they need to depend on Google Maps.

“For me, as a general rule, I self-admittedly will get very much in my head. And David will just simply take the piss out of it and make me laugh,” Rave stated.

A 2003 examine in contrast 40 same-sex with 40 heterosexual over the course of 12 years to study what makes same-sex relationships succeed or fail. The findings recommended that same-sex tended to be extra constructive when citing a disagreement and have been additionally extra more likely to stay constructive after a disagreement when in comparison with heterosexual .

“Gay and lesbian couples were gentler in raising issues, far less defensive, and used more humor than heterosexual partners,” stated John M. Gottman, Ph.D., the lead creator of the examine and co-founder of the Gottman Institute, a company that gives assets, like workshops and on-line programs, to assist strengthen relationships and affords skilled coaching to clinicians. “These were large differences.”



Source link Nytimes.com

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